Boys Will Be Boys
by Judy-Licious
Summary: Over and over again. — Multipairing drabble dump
1. Boys Will Be Boys

**Notes:** Coherency? What coherency?  
**Summary:** "He's in love with me."

* * *

It started on a crisp afternoon at the end of November.

Tired and slightly dull, the pre-winter sun hung low above the roof of Seirin High School. Most of the school grounds were already deserted at this hour, only very few groups and clubs had stayed behind. Among them was the basketball team, huddled together in the small locker room beside the gym, preparing for practice. The room buzzed with the hushed hum of rustling fabric and idle chatter as the boys changed.

No one was especially surprised when Koganei suddenly spoke up, "Kagami, I heard one of the freshmen confessed to you earlier."

Kagami stopped midway during the act of pulling his shirt over his head, and, to his horror, realized that almost everyone in the room was looking at him with varying degrees of curiosity and envy.

"So?" He said in what he hoped was a gruff and generally menacing fashion. Fortunately, he always kind of sounded like that.

"_So_ you have a girlfriend now, huh?" Koganei leered, his eyes flashed. "Is she cute?"

Whoever had not been interested in the conversation before certainly was now.

Kagami tried his best to keep his stony expression as it was, and failed miserably. "I'm not dating her," he said to the wall of jealous and expectant teenage boys in front of him, and wondered if throwing one of the benches at them would enough to shut them up.

"She can't have been that ugly," Tsuchida chimed in.

"Maybe he likes someone else," Kyoshi supplied earnestly.

"He's in love with me," it came from behind Kagami.

The entire room went silent.

Quietly fighting a heart attack, Kagami turned around to see Kuroko sitting in the shade, stroking the underside of Number Two's chin. The dog mewled contentedly.

"What," he croaked, and paused to gulp. "What did you say?"

Kuroko stared at him, face as blank as ever. "I said, 'He's in love with me.' Obviously I was referring to you," he added as though it needed any more clarification.

"You're joking, right?" Kagami asked hopefully.

Kuroko's brows furrowed. "Why would I be joking?"

However, before anyone could explain to him why it was a perfectly common and logical reaction to assume that he was, in fact, just joking, the door burst open. It was Riko. Her hair and uniform were singed; her left knee was nursing a rather nasty-looking bruise.

"Someone blew up one of the home ec rooms," she said to no one in particular.

Hyuga snorted. "You mean, _you_ were the one who—"

"SHUT UP", she snapped at him, flushing furiously. "NONE OF YOU WILL GO HOME UNTIL YOU CLEANED IT UP. UNDERSTOOD?"

"Your skirt is on fire," Koganei helpfully pointed out.

"_UNDERSTOOD_?" she roared, stomping outside toward the gym, where she had stored away some clothes for emergencies.

Kagami used the opportunity and made a beeline for the exit.


	2. Oh No!

**Notes:** Decided to make this my drabble dump for the series. Updates will be infrequent at best and sporadic at worst, depending on my muse. Drop me a review and tell me what you think!  
**Summary:** Kuroko is a cunning strategist. Kagami learns this the hard way.

* * *

"You know, you'd make quite the housewife," Kuroko said over Kagami's shoulder (standing on his toes) as he watched him fry some pork for dinner.

Kagami shrieked (in a totally manly fashion), flailed, and nearly got boiling oil and meat all over them both in the process. "WHAT THE HELL," he barked, and tried to shove Kuroko out of his personal space, but to no avail. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU ALMOST MADE ME DO."

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry at all. "Maybe I could find a way make it up to you somehow?" he asked as one might ask about the weather, casually slipping a hand under the hem of Kagami's shirt.

Kagami flinched and made a sound he didn't think he wanted to decode. Panting, he let go of the pan and whipped around. Kuroko stared up at him with his default poker face, but Kagami swore there was a glint in his eyes and it was _evil_.

"What," he began, voice pressed. "What do you think you're doing?"

Kuroko's face broke into a sly smirk. Kagami reflected that he should probably be freaking out by now, and found himself helplessly turned on instead. God, it was _so _unfair.

"Why don't you come and see for yourself," Kuroko all but whispered, fingers ghosting down Kagami's belly in invitation, before he slowly left the kitchen.

It took Kagami about three seconds to switch off the stove and follow him into the bedroom.


	3. The Calculation

**Notes:** Here, have some MidoTaka, because why the fuck not.  
**Summary:** The ache in his left leg was killing him.

* * *

The ache in his left leg was killing him.

It had been building up over the first half of the day, the sensation, as usual, reminded him of a rubber band being pulled and pulled and pulled, yet never ripping. Afternoon was approaching, and instead of enjoying his weekly Sunday post-lunch coma it was all Takao could do not to just cut the damn thing off.

Naturally, his automatic response to this was to proceed calling Midorima in order to complain to him about it.

"Shin-chan," he whined as a greeting. "I am suffering from an acute case of growing pain."

There was a moment of silence, in which Midorima hopelessly contemplated the statistic likelihood of escaping the conversation by hanging up. It was almost a miracle he didn't try anyway.

"Are you even growing anymore," he deadpanned, more out of habit than anything else. Takao liked to think so, in any case.

"Of course I am," he shot back sulkily. "Not everyone can finish their growth spurt during _middle school_."

"Actually, I haven't," Midorima said.

"You're lying," Takao accused.

"I told you about it last month when we had our measurements taken for the tournament," Midorima said, and Takao could practically _hear_ him roll his eyes at him, because they both knew that he hadn't forgotten, he was just making good use of his God-given Right of Bitching, which should have been perfectly acceptable given his current physical state. Besides, it wasn't like Midorima was being exactly helpful, if he knew what that meant at all.

"There is no justice left in this world," he wailed, sniffling for extra dramatic effect.

"See you at practice tomorrow, Takao," Midorima said, sounding like he seemed to agree, and then the line was dead.

Takao put down the phone, stretched, and grinned.

The pain in his leg was gone.


	4. A Quick Guide to Domesticity

**Summary:** The couch has its own gravitational field, Takao is Takao, and Midorima reconsiders his life choices.

* * *

"Takao, quit staring at me and fetch me that folder over there, will you?"

Takao looked at Midorima, at the folder in the shelf to his right and then back to Midorima. "I would, but the couch is drawing me in. You see, it's got its own gravitational field."

Midorima scowled at him. "Takao," he said slowly, as if he were talking to a small child — this was his default behavior when he thought Takao was being especially stupid. "That's _my_ couch, and therefore _my_ gravitational field, not yours."

For a second, Takao was almost shocked Midorima was actually humoring him. He smiled. "That doesn't matter. I'm compatible for various gravitational fields, including not just sofas, but also beds, chairs and KitKat bars."

Midorima made a face. "That sounds unnecessarily exhausting and complicated."

"Fits both of our personalities, doesn't it?" Takao grinned, propping his feet against the coffee table.

Midorima's left eye twitched. "Stop that," he hissed, got up from his desk and towered over Takao, who just kept on grinning, of course, and simultaneously managed to look disturbingly innocent. All tension suddenly gone, Midorima heaved a sigh. "I forget, why do I put up with you again?"

Takao chuckled, bent up forward and kissed him gently.

"I really have no idea."


	5. Stupid Teenagers

**Notes 1:** KagaKuro again, because who am I kidding, we all know where my bias lies.  
**Notes 2:** Also, this is less of a drabble and more of a full-fledged fic, sorry!  
**Summary:** Kagami fails at life. It's totally Kuroko's fault.

* * *

Kagami has a problem. He needs friends.

Like, _friends_ friends.

It's not like he's alone or anything, obviously, he's got the team and his classmates and he's sort of got Himuro too, even though it still hurts just thinking about him, but he doesn't want to contemplate that right now.

So yeah, friends. People he can trust enough to tell them he kind of maybe likes one of his teammates and who are possibly able to show him a way to revert the process. The thing is, he doesn't have that sort of social contact, except for Kuroko perhaps, which: hello, core of the dilemma.

"That still doesn't explain why you chose to ask us for advice," Aomine says, jabbing at the plate of fries in front of him without much enthusiasm, and his face does that thing where it doesn't display any emotion except for the one that says he'd rather stab himself with his fork than continue the conversation.

Kagami is not sorry.

"_Dai-chan_," Momoi says and manages to sound both scolding and sickeningly sweet at the same time. Aomine rolls his eyes and almost looks like he's about to pout, which Kagami didn't even know was a _thing_.

"It's okay, I understand," she goes on, smiling sympathetically at him. "It happens to everyone sooner or later, it was just a matter of time. I mean, he's just too cute for his own good."

"I—," Kagami starts and promptly shuts his mouth, because he doesn't know what that even _means_. Sure, Kuroko is—well, he's _something_, and that alone is enough to make him freak out for days.

"So how do I stop it?" he asks instead.

Momoi stares blankly at him for a few seconds, before breaking into a fit of hysterical giggles. Aomine scowls at his plate as though it's all he can do not to smack both of them with it.

Kagami can relate.

* * *

Okay, so friends are stupid. Kagami doesn't need friends. He can totally solve this on his own.

With reawakened vigor, he opens the door of the basketball team's locker room, where Kuroko is currently petting Number Two, dressed in unnervingly flimsy boxers.

Yup. Kagami can totally do this.

* * *

Kagami has a plan. And it's a pretty good one, too. In fact, it's so cunningly brilliant he's beginning to think that he might be a genius:

He's going to ignore the problem until it goes away.

Basking in his splendor, he attacks his lunch, an XXL-sandwich, and nearly chokes on it when he sees Kuroko sitting opposite him. You'd think after about a year of knowing each other, he'd get used to his tendency to suddenly appear out of nowhere at random intervals, but actually the contrary is the case—it gets worse.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I can't help but notice that you have been avoiding me lately, and I do not understand why," Kuroko opens, annoyingly outspoken as per usual.

Kagami would be pissed if he didn't find it so ridiculously endearing.

_God, this is his life._

"I'm not avoiding you," he says. He's never been good at lying, but he gives it a shot anyway.

Kuroko sighs. "You really are an idiot," he says and stands up. "Enjoy your lunch."

With that he's gone.

* * *

Practice is a disaster that day.

It takes Riko approximately 10 seconds to figure out something is wrong and corner him. She's unexpectedly menacing for someone who is roughly three heads smaller than him.

"What the hell is going on?" she demands, hands on her hips.

Kagami doesn't even try to dodge the question—he may be secretly a genius, but Riko is a strategic mastermind.

"I think Kuroko and I had a fight," he says.

"You _think_?"

"Yeah," he says, scratching the back of his neck. "To be honest, I'm not really sure what's going on anymore. He thinks I'm avoiding him or something."

"Are you?"

Kagami bites his lip. "Maybe?"

"Oh my god." Riko groans and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Well, whatever it is that's causing you to play like a _grade-schooler_, get it sorted out or I will sort _you_ out of the team."

She leaves before he can even so much as think of something appropriate to answer.

"What's with everybody suddenly making dramatic exits all the time?"

* * *

Kagami figures it's time to switch tactics.

When he spots Kuroko in the food court the next day (which he is pretty proud of), he sits down next to him, carrying his usual pile of burgers and a vanilla milkshake.

"Here," he says and pushes the cup across the table. "Sorry for being kind of a dick the past few days."

Kuroko says nothing, but takes a sip from the shake, which is a start, Kagami supposes.

"It's just—I'm pretty confused at the moment and you probably know that I'm not really good at dealing with stuff like—like _feelings_." He stops himself at that, before he gets caught up in some sort of verbal landslide and, if possible, makes the situation even more awkward.

"Yes, I know," Kuroko says eventually, shifting in the red leather seat to look directly at Kagami, which is exactly as uncomfortably straightforward as it sounds. Kagami realizes then how little space is left between them and how big Kuroko's eyes look from up close and frankly, he just wants to get the hell out of there.

"You're in love with me, aren't you?" It's immeasurably unfair how calm he sounds.

"What," Kagami squeaks.

"You heard me."

Kagami's mind is reeling with the effort to grasp the concept of what is happening. "But—but if you know, then why didn't you _say_ anything?"

"I wanted to see if you had the courage to do something about it."

"You're kidding, right?" He's unsure whether to bang his head against the table or rip his hair out. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through the last month? I have _literally_ wrecked my brain over this—give me back the milkshake!"

Kuroko smirks at him and Kagami suddenly has A Very Bad Feeling about this.

"I'll give you something even better," Kuroko says, leans forward and kisses him.

On the mouth.

In the most public place he knows.

Kagami wants to shove him away and tell him how incredibly inappropriate this is, but Kuroko's lips are soft and nice and so, so warm against his own.

Oh, well.


	6. Almost

**Notes: **Sorry for the lack of updates, real life took a few unexpected turns that I've been unable to swerve.**  
****Summary: **"This is a school and—and not a _brothel_." **  
**

* * *

It began in Kise's second Spring at Kaijou.

The team was preparing for a match against some seeded school from two prefectures over when his fan club started showing up for practice. Unsurprisingly, it was Kasamatsu who was most bothered by this.

"Make them leave," he hissed as the girls kept on shouting for Kise to sign their uniforms. "This is a school and—and not a _brothel_."

"Wow, senpai." Kise cocked his head. "I never thought you would know about stuff like that. _So grown-up_!"

The veins on Kasamatsu's forehead were dangerously close to popping. "I'm serious, fuckhead," he snarled, startling some of the freshmen. "Get them out of here or I swear to god I _will _kick you out."

At that Kise nearly faltered. Nearly. "Aw, senpai," he cooed. "There's no need for you to be jealous."

"What, of you?" Kasamatsu scoffed. "Not in a million years, baby face."

And then, Kise did something terribly, terribly stupid: he said the truth.

"I didn't mean, 'jealous _of me_.'"

Kasamatsu stared him in an interesting mix of mild surprise, distinct horror and something else neither of them was brave enough to name. After a minute, he whacked Kise over the head and promptly stormed off to give the mob of fans his usual speech about improper behavior on school grounds.

Stunned, Kise looked after him and wondered if they'd almost had a moment there.


End file.
